Thank you Collingwood. Thank you, too

Heartbreak against the Swans doesn't diminish a year to cherish.

I lost again. It wasn’t fun

Gambled in love, I’ve never won

I took a chance, I played and lost

I’ll check the damage now, I’ll count the cost

The phone rang on Sunday morning. It was a journalist colleague of mine, another Magpies fan. I’ll leave him unnamed but there are as many of us as you can imagine. We’d spoken ahead of Saturday’s game too. Neither of us bothered with pleasantries. “I told you I was worried about Papley,” I opened. “Collingwood shit me,” he replied.

To come so far and so close only to fall short is Collingwood’s story, isn’t it? Rueful humour was all we had left. I’m still replaying the final few seconds in my head, of desperate Swans on their last legs rushing the ball into the post — just one more point, leaving us another solitary point stranded, the siren imminent.

There were a few tears. I’d become as invested as I ever had been in this team and its fortunes. It all felt so unlikely, like such a bonus, each plot twist more improbable and exciting than the last. Until finally it was ripped away, and it was all over for another year. As if to remind me, today dawned bright and warm. Summer stretches out ahead.

What a ride, though.

Supporting any team, letting alone playing or coaching one, is like a gambling addiction. Each season proffers a dream, but promises defeat. If football was only played and watched and enjoyed for premierships, it would be a miserable experience. We all find ways to cope with the inevitability of disappointment.

It feels so good when we begin

You think for sure, this time I’ll win

And for a while, it’s all good news

Til the luck turns, and

You lose

Look at the two teams now in the grand final, two of the most successful clubs of the last 20 years. During that time, Sydney and Geelong have rarely been out of contention. Geelong won three premierships in five years; Sydney two in seven. But both have lost grand finals, too, and many more preliminaries between them.

I’m sure, like me, like the players, like probably the coach too, you’ve been through all the what ifs and maybes, the could haves and should haves. Most of all, what if we’d beaten Geelong, then beaten up the Brisbane Lions, leaving Sydney and Geelong to beat up each other on the other half of the draw.

Coaches aren’t paid the big bucks to think like fans, though, and Fly quickly made clear he wasn’t going to spend the summer thinking about it. Now we start over. The opposition will look for ways to stifle our ball movement from half-back. We’ll study them in turn. Other clubs will rise and fall. We’ll pray for a good run with injuries.

I don’t know who the hell I am

But I’ve always known true love’s just a scam

No wonder people end up with pets

Animals are much better bets.

After Melbourne bowed out to the Lions, a tetchy Simon Goodwin observed that finals expose your weaknesses. Well, we lack a key forward, a key back and probably another blue-chip midfielder. Glaringly, we were lacking in key positions in 2018, too. Since then Richmond has lured Tom Lynch while Geelong got Jeremy Cameron.

Dan McStay is no superstar, but he is a capable footballer who has rarely been allowed to settle on account of his versatility. I’m hoping he can hold down a key back post that will free up Jeremy Howe, especially (if he stays fit) and Darcy Moore, who along with Jack Crisp and Scott Pendlebury was our best player across three finals.

Finding a key forward to fit under a still-tight cap is another matter. Brody Mihocek is a fantastic player who has carried far too much for too long. Perhaps Nathan Kreuger might grow into the role; he has something. Maybe Will Kelly will get a break. They are long shots but any short-term solution is more likely to come from within.

As for the midfield, it will be interesting to monitor Nick Daicos’ progress. One wouldn’t expect him to be playing half-back for long. The problem is he’s so good in that role that turning him into a blue-chip midfielder probably means tweaking the game plan around him.

So many what-if’s and what-about’s. Add Jordan De Goey, Brodie Grundy and the captaincy to the list. De Goey probably stays, Grundy probably goes. I hope Pendlebury keeps the captaincy, because he is still an extraordinary player and there is no sign at all that keeping the title diminishes his game. He was sublime, as ever.

Ultimately, as heartbreaking as yesterday was, it’s been the most enjoyable year as a supporter as I can remember, not least because it’s been unburdened by expectation. Everything felt fresh. No amount of disappointment can erase what the Collingwood Football Club achieved this year.

It’s also been enjoyable because of this page, which has served a noble purpose: it’s allowed me to re-engage as a fan, too. But it’s time to put it to sleep for a while. I’ll pause subscriptions after Grand Final day, and reassess whether or not to resuscitate this venture in February 2023.

Thank you very much for your support and for reading this year. It’s been a time, as they say. I don’t think any of us will ever forget it.

Floreat gymnorhina,

Andrew (PP).

Lyrics from Loudon Wainwright’s Much Better Bets